Insert obligatory introduction.
I am unsure of how to start one of these things off. I feel like the first post of a blog should convey the person behind the keyboard with an accuracy that would allow for any potential reader to immediately grasp the sort of person this blog features; yet to channel all of myself here, in this one singular post, would be a twenty year journey in itself. Unfortunately for any audience that I may gain, the task of summarising myself where the whole of these twenty years defines me is an impossible one. Unfortunately for you, reader, you will have to simply wait for this blog to unfold to truly comprehend an inkling of my identity; you will have to actually frequent my blogging to grasp any concept of who I am, and you will have to wait to see if this mind and these words are worth following. It will be a treacherous journey indeed. My posts will be muddled and incomprehensible at times, but there will be other times where there will be a glimpse of enlightenment. They will not be in chronological order; I will be jumping from one era of my life to something entirely different. Not only will I have to take you through the twenty years of my own life, but I will have to reveal the people who have influenced me who, for good or worse, have defined me. You will be baffled and you will likely cease in your efforts and gradually abandon the project of understanding this complexity; the fleeting moments of understanding will be too small and too far in between for your own sanity. You will not make it far in this journey.
Well, I can only hope that my words set you up for taking such a challenge and perhaps sticking to it for a while longer than you usually would bother to. How manipulative of me.
What urged me to begin writing my blog is my realisation that I have lost my voice. Queue foreshadowing: I have suffocated within relationships so abusive that my life and my pleas have gradually gone quite silent from misuse. After many long years I am finally beginning to wake up and be the fighter that I once was, before I was reduced into a meek little thing who was silenced and shamed for being that sensitive and emotional woman. Which leads me to my second reason for starting this blog: I am at a turning point in my feminist realisations that are progressing at a faster pace than usual within these last months. Through my sudden change of perception on women and how we are treated as women, I feel isolated from the rest of the world as they paddle along in blissful ignorance. The dawning of inequality is an important and long-needed change within me; I will not be able to break free from the chain of abuse if I do not change my perceptions on myself and what I deserve as a human being; however I am feeling increasingly discouraged by the world around me as my epiphany and enlightenment grows. I need to voice my concerns in my own little space to avoid being kicked down for them in the real world, which would inevitably cause me to abandon my new-found philosophies for the sake of acceptance.
So here is the start of my journey. I start here, perceiving myself as a victim; my goal is the perception of survival, a concept that I have not yet been able to grasp. Hah to that, I say. Good luck to me.
